Yesterday we all heard about how a plane to London had to make an emergency landing because trouble-finding actress Winona Ryder had mysteriously fallen ill. Today, all the Brit tabloids are elaborating: she overdosed on Xanax and/or tranquillisers. Anyway, if you're going to abuse downers, we've already endorsed Klonopin (to a stream of hate mail against advocating drug use!) Seriously, though: feels great, less filling! (Remember, they found unprescribed pills on her when she was popped for her 2001 clothes-stealing run.) She's probably better at getting scripts now. Wino is just like us! ...

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