Leading whores in Hollyweird are breathing a sigh of relief today after learning that Jessica Simpson's war epic Major Movie Star is going straight to DVD, which means she won't be a contender for the Best Actress Oscar anymore.Even though Jessica's visionary masterpiece was a huge hit in Russia, it won't be released in theaters in North America. Not even the $1 movie theater off the highway is going to show this caca mess. The shit show will also get a name change. You know, because changing the name makes us forget that Jessica has the acting skills of one of your morning butt nuggets. Maj...

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