My one true idol, Camille Grammar, and her sugar bear, Kelsey, showed up at the US Open to watch a bunch of neon balls being hit around. I think that's what they do at the US Open. In my mind, this is the most strenuous thing Camille has done all fucking month. Believe it or not, but being a trophy wife is not all roses and blowjobs. In between your duties of shopping, bitching about the help and sucking limp dick, you have to attend boring events with your meal ticket. I feel for Camille. She would rather be at home, laying on her mink comforter and ordering everything from HSN while downing ...

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